It was the last day of my 28 day sabbatical when I hiked my way along a path towards Bell Rock in Sedona, Arizona.  As I made my way along the path, I got to the point that I usually do, where I could no longer just go where it was leading me.  Call it rebellion or curiosity for adventure, I don't care, but it was time to leave the path.  So off it I went and up the red rocks I climbed.  I got myself safely up to a spot where a few people were still visible below, but they were far enough to where they couldn't hear me singing "Beautiful Day" with Bono on my iPod.  And thankfully, my iPod was up loud enough to where I couldn't hear myself singing with Bono either! 

I took my blue pack off my back and set it down, and then found a nice spot of red rock to sit on.  Bono was done and it was time for Jesus.  So I clicked around on my iPod until I found my audio Bible.  "Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him.  And he opened his mouth and taught them saying 'Blessed are the poor in spirit…"  Thus began Jesus' Sermon on the Mount as read by Max McLean in Matthew 5,6, and 7.  Now I had read the Sermon on the Mount numerous times before.  But there was something fresh about hiking around on a mountain and listening to it audibly.  (If you don't have an audio copy of the Bible, you should get one here and head outside somewhere.)

So I listened, and pictured myself there as if Jesus was saying these words for the first time.  The sun was shining upon my face, the temperature was a perfect 70 degrees, the breeze was light, the view...amazing.  It was a postcard moment, a "happy place" I could mentally escape to later when the realities of life hit.  It was literally a mountaintop experience.  I was enjoying it so much that before I knew it, Jesus began to wrap up his sermon.  "Everyone who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.  And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it."

Those words, at that exact moment, were targeted right for my heart.  It was as though it really was just me and Jesus on the mountain, and He teaching this for the first time.  Recalling the things that God had taught me over the past 28 days of my sabbatical, (which would be too much for this one blog), and looking ahead to my re-entry into normal life just hours away, Jesus' closing words were speaking loud and clear.   

See, my sabbatical began on the SAND at the beach in Florida, where I was an exhausted man who had unhealthy patterns of living that required deep reflection and repentance.  Now 28 days later, I was rested, refreshed and energized, sitting on a ROCK in Arizona listening to Jesus tell me I could go back to being a fool, like the guy who landed on the SAND, or I could move forward in wisdom, like the man who built his house on the ROCK.   The only difference between the two…is obedience.  Incredible mountaintop experiences with God aren't meant to be something we just long to escape to, they are to be fuel for our obedience going forward.

That statement actually made me more upset. I explained to him that it was no consolation to hear he was only sorry because he was wrong. He was confused. "Well I guess I'm not sure what you want to hear, bro," he said.

I thought for a moment, and said, "I want to know that you're sorry about what doing the wrong thing cost me. If you don't understand the cost...that what you did hurt me, or that it may have even hurt you or our friendship, then I'm not sure I can believe you're really sorry."

My friend and I resolved the disagreement, but this conversation kept me up that night. I couldn't help thinking about repentance. Because when it comes to repentance, I'm not much different than my friend. I often repent only because I know sin is "wrong," or because I got caught in it. So am I really repenting then, I wondered? I don't think so.

If we only repent because we just don't want to be "wrong," then that's just moralism! There's nothing heartfelt or heart-changing about it. I think for 28 years that's taken me a whole lot of nowhere.

Heartfelt repentance means I have to own my sin...and I can't own anything until I know what the price is. I have to know what it costs the person I sinned against (pain), know what it costs me (separation from God and others), and most importantly what it cost Christ (his life).

But fortunately for us, Christ paid the price willingly, which means when I actually think about the cost of my sin, I can rest and rejoice...not wallow in feeling bad about it! This is huge. If I understand that my sin is real, that the costs are great, but that God offered his son to pay off the debt it accrued, I can be honestly sorry for sin and honestly joyful all at the same time. Pastor Darrin talks about this in a similar vein...that we're totally sinful but totally accepted...that we can have humble confidence...that we can live in the tension of the Gospel.

But this tension begins when we are willing to get down and dirty and see the muck and mire that our sin really is. So next time you need to repent, ask yourself "Why am I repenting? What is the cost of my sin? Then know that while the cost is real and the price is enormous, the bill's been paid. And let that lead you to a life of real worship.

The moment I saw his reaction, I said to myself, "That's a guy who's invested." And I know there are plenty of people who display emotion to fool people into thinking they care, but in this case it was an obvious, unrehearsed sign that LaRussa cared about whether Rick Ankiel succeeded or failed. And whatever I think about Tony LaRussa as a manager, or even as the manager of Rick Ankiel, it reminded me that this kind of emotional reaction is not unfamiliar to me, or to any leader who has spent time caring for, investing in, and worrying about the people he/she leads.

So here you are. And if you're reading this, you're probably part of our church, or another church, or at least curious about what a church is all about. And I'm thinking how many people who come to a church like The Journey have had their own journey much like Ankiel had walking into the majors ten years ago. There's an excitement to see what they'll become. They're young in their faith, new to the church or Christianity. And sort of like Ankiel, there's a lot of buzz surrounding them at first. But for whatever reason people fall through the cracks, walk away, or, like Ankiel, just fall apart.

I'd like to think for the last several years since Rick Ankiel was sent down to the Minor Leagues, LaRussa has been sitting up at nights worrying about whether Rick would succeed. He's been questioning his own judgment and past decisions, and mulling over what to do for Rick next. What I saw on Thursday night looked like someone who thinks this way, like someone who walks with a player through his failures and successes, sharing in their losses and their wins.

And I thought that kind of thinking wasn't so different than what the leaders of The Journey feel too. Because as a member, or regular attender, or even someone who is just considering church as a place they could come and find a home, you should know that your elders, deacons, and ministry leaders care about whether you grow and mature in Christ. They sit up nights thinking about whether they're leading you in the right direction. They mourn their mistakes. And when they're surrendered to what God is doing, they're humbled by their successes.

As I was writing this and feeling really good about myself as a leader who carries people's burdens, I remembered this guy who'd done it all way better than I had. I mean, when he carried people's burdens, he actually carried them. He put them on himself, and hung on a cross and died for them. And while this wasn't a spontaneous reaction like LaRussa's, the joy had been set before this man before the world began and was infinitely greater.

So he suffered. He wanted to suffer for our sufferings and rejoice in our triumphs so much that he could say, "I'll die before people have to suffer in sin anymore. I'll die so that they can have life." I mean, when it gets right down to it, even at my best, I'm only trying to model this leadership that was Christ's sacrifice. I don't even come close.

You could be feeling like Rick Ankiel may have felt several years ago when he was sent back down to the minors. I'm sure he felt like a failure. I'm sure he questioned whether he'd been coached right. He wondered if he would ever get back to the good graces of Cardinal fans?

If you feel like a spiritual failure, like you're just bouncing around the minor leagues, know that we're pulling for you. Let a leader know you need some coaching. And when you're questioning our judgment, know that we're sitting up all night questioning and praying over it, too. When you're wondering where you're headed, know that we want to get along side you and walk with you as you find your way. That's why this church is called The Journey. Because the spiritual life is one.

But secondly, know that Christ is pulling for you so much that he died so your performance wouldn't define your status with God like Ankiel's performance defines his in pro sports. And know that while the leaders of The Journey do their best, Christ's leadership is perfect. He will not lead us wrongly. And when you're worried about the future, his plan is perfect.

Journeyers, we've talked a lot lately about not being church consumers and getting our eyes off ourselves so that we can help others. Steve spoke to us Sunday about the difference between a missional church and a consumer-driven church. He spoke specifically about how sometimes a church's back door is as big as its front door. How does that happen? One way it happens is when we get away from our mission as a church, or if only a few people are on that mission. It happens when people aren't serving in the local church. For some of us, we think our part is to write a check. For some of us, we think it means getting involved in Mission St. Louis. For some of us, we balk at the whole idea.

But for all of us who call The Journey home, it means serving in our local church. Ideally, we're serving in and outside the church. If only some of the people are carrying the load, then they get burnt out, feel used and ultimately become ineffective in their ministry. If the load is shared by all, then people are able to serve in their gifting, and no one is being used just to get ministry done. We have to remember and take seriously that little saying we float around: We don't use people to get ministry done, we use ministry to get people done.

As The WC grows in size, we're seeing a growing number of kids added each week to Journey Kids. And we need help in a bad way. In fact, so badly that we're turning kids away each Sunday. We just don't have enough help.

Now let me be upfront here and tell you the truth: There are people I see every week who come and sit in the seats, worship with their hands in the air, leave with a smile on their face and don't offer one ounce of their time and effort to allow others the same worship experience to which they hold so dearly. Friends, we are on mission! Not just some of us. Not just the people on stage. Together. We've got to make this thing happen if we're going to reach the community out in West County. That means that we're committed to this campus. That means we're not stealing away to visit Tower Grove on our weeks off serving at The WC. It means we're connecting with others. It means we're leading with our actions. With servant hearts. We're showing consistency to this community that The Journey at West County is around to stay. So right now as a new campus, the primary way we're reaching that community is through our Sunday worship service. And we need help to ensure that this thing gets off the ground. Don't get me wrong...we're doing well. But that's because some gracious people are literally sacrificing every Sunday to serve in the kids' ministry. And they're not complaining. But we know they're missing being in worship. We know they're tired...and we just don't have enough people to give them a break. And it's the same in Set-up/Tear Down, Sound, etc.

We often ask the question: If our church left the community, would anyone notice/care?
If we don't act like our church is the hope of the West County community, if we treat it and other campuses like they're the Junior Varsity of worship services, then we're just going through the motions and not really getting on mission. The WC is a baby right now and we need to nurture and love it like it's the only church we have. A new startup like this is a battle and we need soldiers. The people who have been serving in our Journey Kids ministry out here are exactly what I'm talking about. Every week they're sacrificing so that others can worship in their place. This is huge!!!! God bless them and their servant hearts. We need more like them. All I'm asking is that you ask yourself, "Would I sacrifice my time so that someone else could experience one Sunday of what I love about The Journey?"
God bless you, friends. I care for you and love to serve and lead you on Sundays. Hear my heart on this: We need your time, energy, sacrifice, and love in so many ways. You are valuable to the Kingdom, and ultimately the Kingdom is what this is about--people meeting with God, seeing their sin up on the cross, responding in worship, and sharing the good news with others. Be a part of that. Get in the game.
Josh Dix

It has been a blessing to be a part of the West County service. For those of you at Tower Grove or Hanley who are wondering how it's going, we're doing great. Thanks for all your support and prayers. For those of you who are attending West County (The WC), let me speak to some of the happenings out there and cast a little vision for us.

When I heard we were going to do a West County service, I knew I had to get involved because it would take on the look and feel of a church plant. It has been a great joy of my life to be a part of The Journey's initial plant in St. Louis from the very first Sunday to today. I have learned a ton and God has used that process of starting our church to call me to ministry.

Now let me clarify what I mean about The WC looking like a church plant because many of you are going to be thinking: I thought this wasn't a new church, just a new location. And you're right. It's still the same Journey as always. My statement above is more a comparison than anything. When you look at what it takes to start a new campus at The Journey, it compares to starting a whole new church, even though that's not what we're doing. This comparison works because just like starting a church, we're going to reach a new neighborhood, new people, assimilate people who are new to the vision and in the process of all that, set a new culture for most of the people who come.

So while The WC is not a church plant, our approach is much the same as it was when we started the church. That approach means people are sacrificing more than usual. It's taking extra time, money and energy to get The WC off the ground and running. There are more trip-ups, technical problems, and miscommunications than our more established campuses. But we know that in all this, God wants to meet with His people. And despite these more frequent stresses in getting a campus set up, people are in fact getting connected and building a culture that still looks and feels like The Journey.

We are seeing new people visit the church every Sunday. Many have heard about us from the media coverage, or like usual, through other people. Word of mouth has always been a catalyst of our growth-which means that people are sharing the joy they have in God's church. That's exciting and encouraging.

For many people, the large room at West County is a much different feel than the more intimate settings of Tower Grove and Hanley Road. But what has stayed the same is people continue to worship every place we go. People continue to meet with God and the culture of worship moves with the people, it doesn't stay in a previous building. God's Spirit isn't looking for an "intimate" room. He's looking for willing hearts.

So when you catch yourself feeling like you miss the old Journey locations or even a certain style of worship, rest in the fact that God's Spirit is with us, and we are not waiting on Him--He's waiting on us.

Friends, it is my honor to lead you in worship on Sundays and be a part of what God is doing here at The WC.  It's great to see new people come and meet with God every Sunday. May God bless all who visit The WC and those who are serving and praying continually as we reach out to our new community in West County.
Josh Dix

From the very first Sunday of The Journey, I resisted the call to be a worship leader. I didn't mind being in the band, but leading the band and the congregation was more than I could commit to at first. With much coaxing, Darrin talked me into leading the band. I didn't feel ready, but I felt like God was behind it all and Darrin assured me I would develop. Over the years God shaped me and the fledgling worship ministry as the church grew. I had no idea what I was doing, but that was great! It required me to lean on God for answers.
Even still, I was always trying to hand the ministry off to someone else. I never wanted to be "the guy." Even though my gifts were developing, I never really gave them the focus or energy they deserved. As a consequence, I was only mildly happy with my development or my involvement in the church. As Darrin mentioned today, when you neglect your gifts, "You're miserable." My time serving in my gifts were an up and down ride of both joy and misery. The truth is that I couldn't submit. I couldn't surrender.

Eventually, I took myself completely out of ministry for over a year. In some very practical ways, I needed a break. I'd been leading worship at The Journey for its first three years and was exhausted. I took a long awaited rest. But that rest turned into a hiatus, and the hiatus into a hiding place. And I was more miserable than I'd ever been. I was again running from my spiritual gifts and God's calling on my life.
On February 4th, two Sundays before we started The WC, I led my own band again for the first time in over a year. What I felt in that service changed me. I felt God's pleasure. I felt Him saying, "This is my son in whom I am well pleased." That day it wasn't about the band playing well or a set list of songs that reached me this way. It was the Spirit's affirmation in my heart that I was serving in the way God had designed me to serve, right down to every fiber of my being. After the first set was over, I sat down in the pew next to my wife and cried for twenty minutes. I was so grateful that God had not given up on me-that I was lucky enough to have a gift of leading worship and an opportunity to use it for the edification of the church.
I share my experience here because I know there are people out there who are rejecting where God's leading them. And we all need to hear messages like the one Darrin preached Sunday. We need to hear that God has a design for each of us. And it's not always on stage, but it's always important. And hearing stories of how God uses people can help us see we're not alone.

One last story:
As Darrin mentioned in his sermon, not every Spiritual gift looks as glamorous as others. It may be very sexy to be up on stage in the band. Gifts like prophecy sound "super-spiritual." Our preaching pastors are very charismatic. We'd all love to be as smart and eloquent as they are. We get to see these gifts "in action."

Let me talk to you about a guy who people rarely see "in action."

Shane Johnston leads the team that sets up and tears down every Sunday at West County. He is amazing. Hardly anyone who attends The Journey sees Shane serving, but everyone sees the fruits of his gifts. If Shane and his team were not there every Sunday, we couldn't do it. In addition to that, Shane ministers to me in his helpful attitude and servant heart. I am encouraged every time I talk with him on Sunday mornings because he absolutely helps facilitate what goes on with worship. I don't worry about things getting done because I know Shane is taking care of it. So it's also safe to say, if Shane weren't helping me on Sunday mornings, worship might not happen either. I'd go crazy with all the details and my heart would be in all the wrong places by the time service started. The point is--here's a guy who has no desire to be famous for his gift of helping and serving, but serves behind the scenes and is absolutely, unequivocally part of the success of any Sunday we have at The WC. For more examples of people who are serving behind the scenes and putting The Journey on their backs, visit the servants in Journey Kids. They deserve all the fame as far as I'm concerned. Absolute rock stars.
Darrin, thank you for the message Sunday and pushing us to respond to God's leading.
God bless,

Josh Dix

Parking:

Lot adjacent to the Pillsbury Chapel and Dale Williams Fine Arts Center Lot below the Fine Arts Center (on your left if you enter the campus from Outer 40 Road)